Need a Laugh?

December 10, 2008

I sure did this afternoon. Luckily, a friend of mine who is a high school English teacher forwarded her favorite excerpts from research papers written by her 11th grade class. All of the below were included in an email from her titled: "Why I Drink."

"Fur has existed ever since the 17th century."

"What is it that causes the teens to kill themselves? It could be many things: Stress with family, depressed with any topic, a relationship gone wrong, clowns, old people, having a baby and drinking makes this pain even stronger."

"There is no good proof or evidenct that jurors take sides when it comes to sentencing a criminal."

"Men like beer. Women like vodka. It's a fact."

“Many wonder why would an individual gamble if they are away that this could risk their families financially. Well, why the hell not?”

"For animals to become extinct when this was their home before humans came is a sin."

"If marriage was meant for same-sex then why are we alive today?"

"These days Heart disease kills more people than AIDS, Malaria, War and diabetes."

"By the end of the day, there are hundreds of dead animals piling up because these lipsticks have toxic chemicals."

"Committing crimes is like doing homework, a person is always supposed to do their homework and they know what happens if they don't do it, detention."

"There is a solution to handguns that does not require banning of anything except for maybe a television or two."

"The earth takes time to produce the food we waste and so we waste the time earth spent for us."

"A few years before the song ("Surfin' USA") came out, a group of surfers from the North ventured down to Camp Pendleton to find a surf spot that they heard was amazing. After they fought their way through the U.S. Marines and the jungle, they reached the break called Trestles."

"How hard is it to have safe sex? The answer is not hard."

“Computers will soon come to the point of getting smarter and teaching humans everything there is to know about life and history even though computers are not human?”

“Cultures change by time and some people need to get that in their minds.”

“Muslim women should be treated like goddesses, highly respected and on a pedestal.”

“This claim is like baking a cake with expired milk – just awful!”


  1. These are awesome, Jora! I bet it won't be long before they are circulated as an email forward. :)

  2. I dunno, the last time I made a cake with expired milk it still came out pretty good. and THAT explains all the dead animals I've seen wearing lipstick lately!

    thanks for the lolz Jora. hope you're feeling better today.

  3. I am simultaneously amused, concerned and slightly embarrassed thinking back on my own high school papers! Priceless, thanks for a good snicker with my morning coffee:-)

  4. Love your new look! Are you so excited how it turned out?

  5. Kids these days! : )


  6. As a high school English theacher this post made me feel so much better...It's just nice to know my students aren't the only ones out there writing such amazing thesis statements.


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